Guess I caved

To be shot

Would beat this phase

Only it’s not

What I intended

My mind

Gave up

It was

Unintended

So here I am

With words

I can spin with

I’m not alone

I’m just learning patience

And forgiveness

Like solitary

Was a weakness

Escape

Let it go

Let it go

Let it fade away

Sit down

Be quiet

Yo thoughts

Are all to blame

Yo looks

Could solve the case

And your eyes

Giving me a chase

I’m resisting fate

Who is there to blame

Kiss me soft

I’m too hard

To keep it straight

Everything you say

Making me escape

Life is too short

For this

Escape

I’m just

Another

Escapade

Gotta go

Like you told me to

A month ago

It was all good

Till we got caught

The city

Always asks a lot

Demanding

Some smoke

Let’s make it

Hood enough

Wrist

Itch a lot

When they itch

You go get faded

Lose yourself

Think you’re jaded

In reality

You’re just playing

It’s part of

What makes you

Satan

I’m not saying you

The devil

I know the devil

He ain’t you

You know

I’m just playing

People say never talk

Bout satan

My bro be talkin

bout satan

But he ain’t playin

So much Satan

Make me think

God I love what you

Created

With my Tims and

My mind

When it gets to

What must be said

And

I only finish

When I’m free enough

Like how you

Be actin tough

But I see you crying

When I tell you

What is up

And how the role

Reverse

When the police show up

Twist and turn

Fly easy

Here the truck

Full of ice

Creamin just got easy

Get me a swirl

That pops up

Nice and easy

You’re fearless

Thanks for nothin

God bless

And take it easy

Doomed

The world is falling

Doomed if I’m alive or die

I’m wanting to find that one thing

I’m wanting to change my life

I’m wanting to die

Finishing something I didn’t lie for

Wanting to die

Changing what’s to die for

Gotta a lot to give

And aint gonna stop now

I aint gonna stop now

I aint gonna stop

Cause the world is falling

Doomed if I’m alive or die

I’m wanting to find that one thing

I’m wanting to change my life

🤞🏽🤞🏽

 

Naked

I thought I knew what I was saying.

Like I could feel my words

Falling into your lap.

And everything I’d think

Or say to you

Would tell you

How I really feel.

But when my thoughts

Became words

To leave me

Somehow they left

You as an enemy.

I only said what

Was inside of me

And you denied it

And said

My words

Lie to me.

My emotions

Were never present

When I spoke

And still

Whatever I was saying

Found you

To leave you wounded

And bruised

And naked.

And my thoughts

Feeling mistaken

Broke and left me

Like I knew what I was saying.

In My Feelings

Something has snapped inside me. It’s like I’m not afraid anymore, but angry. It’s like I have a firestone piercing my heart. It’s like I’m finally ready. When people reject and shut you out so many times you reach a breaking point. I’m okay with silence and I’m okay with talking. But I’m not worried anymore about what to choose or who I am. I’m focused and sure this time of what I’m doing. People lose a lot in life. People lose people. People lose children. People lose libido. People lose money. People lose their minds. It’s only when you lose something you gain something back. I’ve lost a lot but I’ve never lost something for nothing. So when I think of my past I’m sure of my future. With all that loss behind me I know I have everything to gain. It’s not a fresh start I’m after. It’s not power. It’s not revenge. Because it’s not even a fresh start. It’s just the start. The start of something where fear doesn’t exist. The start of truth. And yeah I be in my feelings.

I’m in

I’m in one of those writing zones where I feel like pouring my heart out to someone. I used to write it down in a notebook or on a piece of paper, but then I realized it created a whole collection of “added stuff” to wherever I might go…So, I am writing to you a story about a girl named Sis.

Sis loved Jesus.

She couldn’t give up on something so perfect, because perfection made Sis awe struck.

She loved the idea of a perfect world.

Perfect people.

Of course she knew her idea couldn’t be shared on a earth with people like her, who also had their idea of a perfect world.

That’s why she loved Jesus, because His world made everyone’s world perfect.

Sis decided one day to stop her ideas and follow Jesus.

She sacrificed a lot

but she knew it was nothing compared to what He had sacrificed.

Sis found a place to go where people loved Jesus as much as she did.

Then one day Sis stopped and she fell in love.

She tragically loved fiercely at a distance.

Her love kept her heart pure.

Then there was a disappearance and she had fallen in love with what disappeared.

She stopped loving God the same.

She thought if she’d ever see him again…

Until now,

God didn’t stop loving Sis.

She forgot,

until now.

So she kept her heart

for God