I thought I knew what I was saying.

Like I could feel my words

Falling into your lap.

And everything I’d think

Or say to you

Would tell you

How I really feel.

But when my thoughts

Became words

To leave me

Somehow they left

You as an enemy.

I only said what

Was inside of me

And you denied it

And said

My words

Lie to me.

My emotions

Were never present

When I spoke

And still

Whatever I was saying

Found you

To leave you wounded

And bruised

And naked.

And my thoughts

Feeling mistaken

Broke and left me

Like I knew what I was saying.


In My Feelings

Something has snapped inside me. It’s like I’m not afraid anymore, but angry. It’s like I have a firestone piercing my heart. It’s like I’m finally ready. When people reject and shut you out so many times you reach a breaking point. I’m okay with silence and I’m okay with talking. But I’m not worried anymore about what to choose or who I am. I’m focused and sure this time of what I’m doing. People lose a lot in life. People lose people. People lose children. People lose libido. People lose money. People lose their minds. It’s only when you lose something you gain something back. I’ve lost a lot but I’ve never lost something for nothing. So when I think of my past I’m sure of my future. With all that loss behind me I know I have everything to gain. It’s not a fresh start I’m after. It’s not power. It’s not revenge. Because it’s not even a fresh start. It’s just the start. The start of something where fear doesn’t exist. The start of truth. And yeah I be in my feelings.


I’m in

I’m in one of those writing zones where I feel like pouring my heart out to someone. I used to write it down in a notebook or on a piece of paper, but then I realized it created a whole collection of “added stuff” to wherever I might go…So, I am writing to you a story about a girl named Sis.

Sis loved Jesus.

She couldn’t give up on something so perfect, because perfection made Sis awe struck.

She loved the idea of a perfect world.

Perfect people.

Of course she knew her idea couldn’t be shared on a earth with people like her, who also had their idea of a perfect world.

That’s why she loved Jesus, because His world made everyone’s world perfect.

Sis decided one day to stop her ideas and follow Jesus.

She sacrificed a lot

but she knew it was nothing compared to what He had sacrificed.

Sis found a place to go where people loved Jesus as much as she did.

Then one day Sis stopped and she fell in love.

She tragically loved fiercely at a distance.

Her love kept her heart pure.

Then there was a disappearance and she had fallen in love with what disappeared.

She stopped loving God the same.

She thought if she’d ever see him again…

Until now,

God didn’t stop loving Sis.

She forgot,

until now.

So she kept her heart

for God


It’s Time


it’s time

To wake up

From our slumber.

This world is

Getting older.

The people

You and me

Need Jesus

To set us free.

This world is

Getting mean.

Ring the alarm


it’s time

Don’t hit the snooze

And sleep.

Wake up


To your knees.


Sets us free.


The name of Jesus

His blood

Dripping from

The tree

A love unknown

Sin dethroned

He sets

The captive free.



Goodbye Crazy


my second love

the pain

you hummed

while you

beat your drum

to a word that’s



my second love

the chord

you struck

inside my heart

to turn me to

my pleasure.


my second love

the hate

you sprung

while you sung

your song




my second love

the way you


my present day

with a rhythm

that made me



From the Eyes of a Misfit Girl

I saw the world

From the eyes of a misfit girl

Full of limitations, disappointments, fear


But then, my eyes were widened

To a pop

And the world spilled out some truth


So, I took notice

And I saw the world

And how it measured


Truth is:

It wasn’t fitting

It was missing

It was lost

And gone forever


When I saw this


I lost the


I lost the girl

And the world

From the eyes of a misfit girl


The Tide

The sound of the rain

Falls like the sound

Of my heart


A river falling

To a tidy sea

Sounds like rain


Love taken all of me

My heart lies to me

She can’t trust the rain


When the tide rises

The river is silent and gone

She’s swallowed up


Love come sharp to

A soft beating heart

A river flowing from tide to sea


It sounds like rain

When the tide comes in

To carry the river free


My heart and soul

Cry sounds of rain

The tide has come to go


Translation: Lost in Budapest


She passed me her iPhone 5

And I typed into the translator,

“Why is rural Hungary dangerous?”

She nodded her head.

“Gyilkosság,” she typed back.

I read the English translation aloud,


“Yes.” She confirmed

As she traced a straight line

Across her neck

Indicating decapitation or


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